intimate revelations

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There's a nice little revelation in April Short's piece about her young yoga students thinking that she should be married. She sets up the tale this way:

While teaching yoga to elementary schoolers in Portland, Oregon, a city that is reputed to be one of the most liberal places in America, I recently had my own encounters with the early impacts of gender/sexuality socialization/normalization of certain behaviors on kids.

"I was pretty surprised that at this point in history," she continues, "in one of the liberal bastions of the planet, little kids appear generally bewildered by the notion of a 27-year-old woman shacking up with her partner:"

I asked students to take turns sharing something big or small that they were looking forward to. Most of the children said something like, "The summer," which at the time was fast approaching, or "Seeing my mommy."

Then, little 6-year-old Natalye said, "Well, I'm not so much looking forward to it, but my mommy's friend Susan is marrying her other friend Jane. I like weddings, but this one's yucky!"

"Why's that?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Girls aren't supposed to marry girls! I think if they kiss I might puke."

This prompted giggles from the rest of the class.

Short matter-of-factly explains that "I have had relationships with both men and women and am a proud supporter of equal marriage rights, so I felt I had to say something:"

"Hmm. Well, do you think Susan and Jane love each other?" I asked.

Natalye thought about this for a long few seconds, and all eyes in the room were on her.

"Yes," she said, quietly.

"Well then, why is it yucky if they get married?"

"I don't know."

"Love is love, and that's a good thing always. At least that's what I think," I told her. I could see the little wheels turning in her head.

"Yeah, I guess so," she said.

I moved on. Kids are smart. In my experience, generally, if they're given permission to think about something for themselves, they will come to a pretty tolerant conclusion. I was surprised by the encounter, though, because it seemed that while Natalye's parents were accepting enough of gay marriage to take their children to a lesbian wedding, somewhere along the road she'd picked up some homophobic behavior.

"If I'm noticing these patterns in my kid yoga classes in Portland, Oregon," she continues, "I can only imagine what it's like in other parts of the country:"

I feel for the struggle of parents who want to educate their kids about tolerance and dispel the more harmful impacts of heteronormativity, because that way of thinking creeps at kids from all angles. I commend parents and teachers who take the time to talk through these issues with kids in a gentle, patient way.

Also commendable (for a more intimate reason) is Ellie MacArthur's piece declaring I love pegging my husband, not least of which for her observation that "my husband was the first guy who allowed me to peg him:"

I mean, men have asked for a pinky or two up there occasionally, but my husband's been the first to insist on a whole toy. Every little girl's dream come true!

"Pegging my husband," she continues, "has now become a regular element in our sex life. I knew he would enjoy it, but I surprised myself with how much I enjoyed it, watching his face flush and respond to my movement:"

Aside from the obvious, pegging him allows me to physically have the power, to experience what it is like to be in control. (It is significantly different from both being a power bottom and having sex while on top.) It completely changed the dynamic we had gotten used to in the bedroom, which brought us closer together.

Negotiating this new element of our sex life forced us both to be more honest and vulnerable, and surprisingly, it turned out to be as one of my favorite parts of our sex life. I highly recommend it.

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This page contains a single entry by cognitivedissident published on July 28, 2016 8:46 PM.

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