worse than potato chips

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Ben Schott is running a "Tom Swifties" competition at the NYT (h/t: Jason Kottke). Here are his examples:

"I manufacture table tops," said Tom counterproductively.

"Let's have a debate about cows," Tom mooted.

"Who discovered radium?" asked Marie curiously.

"Just parsley, sage and rosemary," said Tom timelessly.

"This sea-spray will ruin all the metal-work," said Tom mistrustfully

"I can't tell you how much it resembles a table," said Tom veritably.

"Show no mercy killing the vampire," said Tom painstakingly.

"It keeps my hair in place," said Alice with abandon.

Here are my entries:

"We should stop...somewhere...around here," the drum major said haltingly.

"That certainly is something to ponder," replied the monk meditatively.

"I always got along swimmingly with my teammates," said Greg Louganis Michael Phelps.

"My integrity is at stake here," Giordano Bruno commented incendiarily.

"I can't falsify your account balance that easily," the accountant wrote morosely.

"I won't be an amateur for much longer," Tina proclaimed.

"Please don't make this stir-fry too spicy," the waitress suggested gingerly.

"I can't stand British New Wave music," he declared adamantly.

Help...I don't know how to stop!


update (9:53pm):

The proctologist pursued his career assiduously.

The lawyer delivered her summations judiciously.

The gardener pickled her cucumbers diligently.


update 2 (6/7 @ 1:17pm):

No, really--I can't stop:

The musicians smiled appealingly as their conductor said, "We're glad that you enjoyed our handbell concert."

"I submit this bill as an effort to end our discord," declared the senator resolutely.

"I'm confident that you'll make a complete recovery after the mitral valve replacement," said the transplant surgeon whole-heartedly.

"Thank you for your dedication to our residents' mental health," stated the psychiatric director committedly.

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4 Comments

Oh, I know. It's what's so addictive about Finnegan's Wake. I embarrass myself around friends constantly doing this kind of thing. :)

Well done, said the chef. I particularly like the Bruno.

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This page contains a single entry by cognitivedissident published on June 6, 2009 6:38 PM.

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